I personally don’t consider the retrograde to be over until the shadow period has left us, but hey thats just me.

This retrograde was bullshit.

I hated every second of it. Its still happening and I still hate it.

Here’s WHY:

The retrograde has mostly occurred during cancer season. A lot of emotional blockages have been purged …(some forcibly) . Mother issues, father issues, issues with your sense of security, facing financial slow downs.

The weather has been shit. I can go on. I want to eat a crab boil and I’m vegan. Whack.

By now most of us know, that when mercury stations retrograde, it is a time where communications are confusing, everyone is getting into some sort of fender bender, you or your coworker has to wear a brace on their hand, and your phone has been taking the same picture for 20 minutes.

The main lesson of this double hitter cancer retrograde energy is asking us one question: Who are we when we don’t feel safe or secure?

The shadow energies of cancer can bring up an overwhelming sense of emotions. Waves of old memories crashing onto the heart space. I personally have felt like a child. Crying a lot and feeling scared for a future I have no control over. And eating …a-lot. Just one little bitty sweet snack…or the whole pack of Oreos.

But who am I when I don’t feel safe or secure? A hot fucking lonely mess. sexy on the outside but feeling so mushy and insecure on the inside.

My lesson was to lean on the people who care about me, because whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not, PEOPLE CARE.

PEOPLE CARE ABOUT ME, AND PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOU DAMMIT.

lil tea… this retrograde I was in the one braces , needing to lean on medical care takers, my parents , siblings and friends to help me see the light again. I was scuttling on the sea bottom, forgetting that there was even a surface.

Physical pain is a real motherfucker. So fucking annoying.

Here was my thing, right, like I have the eldest daughter trope, along with libra and virgo placements. The need to people please, please society and take care of everything all my self. No other reason other than the fact that I internalized that it was something I had to do.

But when the roles are reversed, true colors come out. I scared myself. What is life when you accomplish all your goals and there’s no one around you who gives a fuck about you.

I relearned my why. I re-evaluated my relationships. I asked for help. I spoke of all my hurts. I said Thank You with gratitude in my soul. I let myself cry that ugly ass cry and I allowed myself to receive.

Cancer is the Primordial Mother energy. Mercury is the messenger. The Ultimate Mother had a message for all of us to receive during this time.

She has asked us not to ignore the child in us. To give our mothers grace and to forgive our fathers. To make peace with our sisters and brothers. To let the pain truly leave, and know that the wounds are healed.

Cancer is also a cardinal sign. Interestingly enough, this retrograde marked a new emotional beginning.

So now, I feel, we are being asked to embody the heart space fully. Be Seen. Take action on what you know your soul has been crying to do. Don’t look back, ain’t nothing there but a fucking lesson.

Thank you for reading.

XoxoSarhngel

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This summer is going by too fast.

I’m not sure, is it just me? The days are so hot and the nights turn to dawn. I feel the fall breeze but it’s july?

Idk. This summer has taught me to face myself in ways I thought I already have. Yes, mercury has certainly been in retrograde.

I’m learning that I need to take my passions more seriously. It feels weird to me to say that I care about my writing, or that I care about my art. That I want to be seen doing these tasks, that I want to be known in that light.

I’m learning to accept it anyway. It feels odd, to be witnessed. It makes me want to shrivel inside myself. Why do I cower when faced with the light of myself?

Why do I feel like my skin is being forcibly peeled back?

I feel also I should have gratitude. Because although i feel this intense fear, i ache to be on the other side of it.

A side of knowing.

That side of self who trusted all along.I committed to this spiritual journey of self or elevation and enlightenment. Yet I have forgotten bits and pieces of the selves that matter most to me .

Chasing the scene. Chasing the money. Chasing the feeling of security even though it felt so fleeting. Trying to doing everything alone.

This life of mine is sacred. Everyday I wake up, and I am given the chance to continue. For all the times, I’ve given up I get my redo.

This summer feels like a sunburn. I’ve just been needing an Ice-pop.

I’m remembering to cool down. I’m remembering the season I’m in. I’m remembering that I can slowdown. That I must slow down. It is required so that I can create.

That’s all its about really. Wanting to create, having the time, having the encouragement, feeling like community cares.

Accepting, that things don’t happen in the ways I want. Accepting that, that is totally okay. Accepting that I can try again tomorrow.

This summer feels like a rebirth. Like I’m learning to love myself and others again. Not in a superficial way, but in the ways that I find beauty in all the faces.

It’s strange to have this conscripted notion that we should do it all on our own. I need other people and there are people who need me. Sometimes it helps that in moments when I cant show up for myself, I can show up for others and I am reminded of why I matter. Of how I can make a difference and change. Not for validation, but a need of remembrance, that this life I have can feel long and be short. That things are temporary and change is constant.

I want to give back in the ways I can. In the ways that feel sacred to me.

This summer feels like a redemption era. I like a phoenix am hot as coal. burning hot. burning bright. raw heat baby.

Thanks for reading! lmk what you thinkkkk.

xoxoSarhngel